I'm at 40 days now. That is not long at all. I still feel like I have so much to do. To be prepared to go through the temple, read and study Preach My Gospel, read and study The Book of Mormon and try to possibly go all the way through again before I leave. FIND CLOTHES!!! And still questioning luggage choices.
It can be stressful. Those are just some things. Physical matters.
But sometimes... I just feel a little freaked out. As you read through this post, always keep in mind, I am beyond excited to serve a mission. Some days I just feel lonely and I am afraid of what to do for the people I am leaving behind. I feel guilty that I am not gonna be there when they may need me. Sometimes I feel somewhat the other way around. What I am gonna do when I want them then and there ... which won't happen while on the mission. I'll be there in Mexico and they'll be here, my home sweet home and surrounding areas.
Being at work (for one more week), instead of school right now I feel especially out of the loop of how everyone's doing because I see my friends and family once, maybe, twice a week. I know this is nothing, as I will prepare to be apart with what I know and love for 18 months of my life.
I was feeling especially so on Tuesday. Tuesday night is institute night. I was at one end of the room at one point, and across the room I saw a friend of mine smile and wave at me. It was so nice! After Institute on Tuesday nights, there are freshly baked cookies baked by the senior missionary couple. She was up in the room with me and I told her "I see people!!!, which basically meant that I actually saw friends. We talked for a little and she gave me a hug. She probably didn't know how much I needed that hug that night.
I know I am going to have more hard days leading up to, and on my mission. When that happens, there is one thing that I should always remember. I am never alone. Never. Neither are you, as a matter of fact. We have our Heavenly Father with us. Always. To quote a good friend of mine, speaking of my mission "You won't be all by yourself! The Lord will be with you all the time." What a wonderful thought.